Jason, you’re a total scum.

What you did to me was perhaps the most painful thing I’ve experienced in life so far, and I’ll probably never forget the moment I learned of your infidelity. But if I’m going to be honest, I’m kind of grateful; I learned so much from that moment, and it changed my life for the better.

Thank you for teaching me to be less blind and more wary. That sometimes concerns and warnings from friends and family that your SO is cheating do actually have merit; that less texts, less dates, more overtime, and more fights isn’t where all relationships lead to, it sometimes hints to something much more sinister; that genuine love doesn’t always equate to loyal love, and although you had the first for me, you never had the second.

Thank you for teaching me that lying is NOT supposed to be a normal part of a relationship. Sure, lying about being hungry, or liking the movie, or wanting to meet the parents for dinner are forgivable. But lying with the intent to hurt, to deceive, and to cover up prior lies is not and should not be a part of any relationship.

Thank you for making me realize that not all guys are like you. The night I learned that you cheated on me, it was my father who drove an hour to my place to comfort me. During the two months of me endlessly crying over you, it was my male best friend who marathoned Lord of the Rings and Die Hard with me and told me everything will be fine. When I broke down in my dentist’s clinic, it was him and his male assistant who walked me around the parking lot for 30 minutes to calm me down. There are so many amazing, good-hearted men in this world; I just had the misfortune of meeting one of the bad ones.

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Thank you, because now I know it’s okay to be selfish in a relationship. That sometimes, thinking about myself and my own feelings first isn’t such a horrible thing. That getting hurt about the things you do to me doesn’t mean I’m oversensitive. That sometimes, it’s okay not to view things from your own perspective, and that my own perspective matters just as much.

Thank you, because now I’m a better, stronger woman. No more being complacent. No more being blindly understanding. No more little Ms. gullible. No, you didn’t break me; I have not become bitter. But I did become more discerning in how I assess my relationships, and in the process I have been able to attract better, nicer people into my circle, who genuinely reciprocates my care for them.

So thank you, Jason, and I hope you’re happy wherever you are. But also, f*** you.

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