I have this strong belief that your twenties is to your teens as an “S” is to an iPhone— it’s hyped as an amazing new upgrade, but you realize it hasn’t changed much since the last model.
I met my husband right before I turned 21. He’s a good four years older than I am, still young himself. I had just gotten out of college, and he’s had a stable job for a while. Sound normal?
Here’s where it isn’t. In a little over a year, we got married. No, we didn’t elope and say #YOLO; he proposed, we planned the wedding for a year, and BAM! we got married!
At 22, I was getting comments left and right about how young I was, a bit too young to be getting married soon. In the first six months our parents asked incessantly about how sure we were about this. We would get a lot of questions about whether we were expecting a baby and if that was why we were getting married. At some point I started to wonder about these things myself. Was I really sure about this? Was I even ready? What was expected of me as soon as I got married?
More on Okay Human: If You’re In Your 20s And Depressed About Being Single, Read This
First it was nerve-wracking, and then in a moment everything was okay again. It was as if I had come into my mother’s arms as a small child, presenting to her the woes that children do, and feeling safe. I was safe with this man. From day one he has made me feel this way. There was a certain rightness to being with him.
All was right in the world again.
The thing is, marrying young used to be normal until everyone started getting caught up in their careers, or until houses and education and healthcare got so expensive. In this day and age everything is in constant motion that we forget how good it is to have someone around all the time. We have begun to live closer together in proximity but more distant to these neighbors we live next to. Marriage now sounds like something that would interrupt this climb up the ivory “condo” that looks so attractive from down here, in our twenties.
If I hadn’t met my husband, I probably would have been down there too. In a world that has forgotten how sweet life is when you start together and grow together, marriage has become an underestimated gem. Life can get rough, especially with what our generation has to face, but having someone to rough it out with is totally worth it.